I worked at my last job for about eight years. My last office was on January 19 this year. I still can’t believe that I have almost 14 years of career of getting a job, learning the job, taking on new challenges. But a year and a half ago, when my colleague (I don’t want to name him), quit his job just to take care of the baby, I never thought the same fate would happen to me. I continued to work, i.e. job, while facing various challenges including work place, family responsibilities, giving time to the child. I used to leave my baby with my mother. But sometimes the mother was unable to take care of the child as the father’s illness worsened. Meanwhile, not having any helper at home, with whom to leave the child, I was forced to quit my job without getting a solution. We keep track of student dropouts, we keep track of the number of women in the workplace, but we don’t keep track of how many mothers are forced to leave their jobs to care for children.
The fact that girls like us are forced to leave the job, the number may not be worth mentioning, I don’t even know how much its effect is on the society. But for me, it’s about standing up for your dreams, throwing yourself away. I wonder who, or what, is responsible for this? Here is the glamorous news of women-friendly policies, women-friendly workplaces, women’s freedom, and many more women’s benefits, but here a mother has to give up a long-standing career to take care of a child. When a working mother becomes a mother, one can really understand how effective these benefits really are. I call opportunity an advantage, in the context of our country. Let me give you an example: How many trolls and hate speech you hear about women sitting in buses to reduce the suffering of women, it is not even a part of the feeling in the society. When the state has made this separate seat to bring women into the mainstream of work, the patriarchal minds are not able to accept it.
He said: If you want equal rights, why should the seating arrangement be different? Yes, as a privileged person, you may not need this facility many times. But for some, these benefits help them move forward. However, if only five seats are asked to be given, then if half is claimed as equal rights, how big a battle can be fought, can be guessed. This old talk has to be brought up, because it doesn’t take a day to realize how stupid this policy of pulling the state is, when a child joins your life. By any measure, women are moving forward. So I want to say this with him, the state is not able to hold the women who are going forward, who have children, in this stream. The child of this woman does not exist in the structure of the state. In our country, if a woman is a mother, the responsibility of that child is, to a large extent, only the child’s parents, and to a small extent only the mother. From birth at least until school admission, none of these state-society plays any role in the child’s growth.
Even in the 1980s, when women did not join many jobs or businesses, such problems were not so pronounced. Those who worked, left their children with other members of the house, even then there was not so much mistrust between people. To neighbors, to relatives, children have grown up laughing. It is unimaginable now due to various reasons including security, busyness, sincerity. On top of that, the participation of women in the workplace has increased. On the other hand, the joint family is broken. Violence against children has also increased by leaps and bounds. So what did the state do! From cities to villages, how much are all political parties in power doing to empower women. But where am I? I want my baby to have a confident, self-reliant mother. Why he will get the place of power only from his father, mother will also participate equally in his growth. But after fourteen years, I left the job because I could not make a safe arrangement to keep the child. Please don’t come talk about nanny or daycare. Reason: I have not found a man for three years, whom I will keep at home with reasonable salary. Many of my relatives have hired many on nominal wages, but as a conscientious person I could not take advantage of someone’s helplessness. Reason: Even in 14 years I did not have the financial capacity to make this arrangement. Similarly, it was not possible to meet the cost of day care. Who will take responsibility for this obstacle!
But according to the government policy, if there are 40% women workers in the workplace, there should be a day care facility to look after at least 5/6 children. On the one hand, the government is encouraging the number of women in the workplace, but on the other hand, it is not taking initiatives to ensure these benefits. So how will women proceed with the principles of these books? In a special government order, all government and private offices have been asked to have a breast feeding corner. This system means that those who go to the office from outside for some work, should not face any difficulty in feeding the child if they are with them. Although nominal institutions keep this system. Other than that I have not found any other use of this system. Because surely no one will take the baby to the office just to breastfeed. In these offices, you will find dining area, prayer area, but no day care center. How a mother spends her office hours keeping a six-seven-month-old baby at home, only that mother can feel. I remember walking into the office for the first time after maternity leave and knowing that I could no longer work in the department I was working in. Without showing any reason, they asked me to work in another department for a few days.
I also feel the need for the office. Later I realized they had other plans. However, new challenges started coming to an unaccustomed desk. Unbalanced comparison of colleagues, I mean, he has kids, he doesn’t have this problem, why do you, he stays next door, doesn’t worry like you, you take so much leave, many more have kids, they don’t… You have to listen to these kinds of things. Even under these pressures, the chest was tight all the time. Our office is very big and has a lot of space. I only wish Ish had made it like a day care here, in this little place, I could have kept the baby close to work! I also tell the bosses to make an arrangement, but maybe girls like me are few in number, so they are not thought about. Such a daily workload than the pressure of competition, who can talk about how little difficulty, so that the office is satisfied. In this condition, I did not have the energy to go home and spend some time with the child happily.
It is time to change the negative view of colleagues on him. Non-cooperation is seen in both men and women. You may make more phone calls at home to check on the baby than a male, or non-mother, colleague. Most of the times these communications are seen as discredited by the office bosses. I think this trend is especially high in the media. Because of the nature of the job, the fewer vacations one takes here, the better one’s reputation. But you have to take most of your annual leave because of the baby. Even with this, you have to be disgraced by your colleagues and bosses at work. You can’t do night duty because of the baby, the bosses will say angrily: girls don’t want to work at night, then don’t hire more women. Even if you work eight-ten hours like everyone else, these things affect your career. Even if you look at it from a very simple point of view, it should be understood, how can a mother spend time in the office at night with a one/two year old baby. However, there are no people who think that the mother can work at any time only if she arranges to keep the child by her side all day. But most office gatekeepers consider the issue too frivolous or troublesome to even discuss with the management committee. Recently, day care has been started in one or two institutions. I know about BRAC bank head office and Deepta TV. Mothers are working in those offices with children between one and five years old. Currently there are 43 government child day cares. 24 of which are in Dhaka, the rest are in different districts outside Dhaka. There are many private day cares. But most parents complain about its professionalism, efficiency and safety. Again, even if the quality is good, the cost is high, which is why most people can’t afford it.
Every year women’s day comes, so many things are discussed. How many things are suppressed again. If the state does not solve these problems, it is not possible at the individual level. A state is creating a working woman in many ways, encouraging her to participate equally in any work alongside men. But at a point when he needs support the most, that woman can’t find anyone else with him. Then the time and money spent by the family, society and the state will be in vain.
We know that not everything changes in a day. As new policies are being implemented, there are various challenges in their implementation. If we look at the issue of maternity leave in context. The government has given six months leave to working women in a special government order. As a general rule, this leave is usually taken by a mother one month or one and a half months before the birth of the child. That means she has five more months after the baby is born. Meanwhile, paternity leave is 15 days. You will be surprised to hear how much is given even after these six months of leave due to working in the media for a long time. Women do not get this leave for six months except in government offices, banks, some development organizations and the media. Some four months, some three months are given. If one takes six months of leave, the remaining two months shall be taken without pay. If you want to spend six months or more vacation somewhere, you have to resign from your job. What is the reason for the fact that government policy is not effective in most places? From what I have seen, it seems that the government does not take care of the issue by making policies. If someone does not get leave, there is no system where to go to complain, and the complainer will not fear to complain, because there is fear of losing the job. On the other hand, there is indifference, I want to say negligence, among the official colleagues regarding this leave in the offices. Most have no sense of responsibility. There are many kinds of mental suffering. Many women who go on leave do not return to work. They are also fired in various ways. This complaint is often heard from garment workers.
Coming back to the child daycare thing, I was really wondering if there really isn’t a program in place to support working moms with child support or whatever. I browsed the website of the Ministry of Women and Children. I couldn’t help but be happy with the title of a program that ended up not lasting. But I’m a little hopeful. Because if something is started, it can be taken far. However, the Working Lactating Mother Support Fund Implementation Program was launched in 2011 as a pilot project. There is some information in the preface of the project which I have given here: “Three quarters of the population of Bangladesh are women and children. Their development is the development of Bangladesh. Therefore, the Ministry of Women and Children Affairs of the Government of the People’s Republic of Bangladesh has undertaken several programs for the overall development of women and children and poverty alleviation. As part of these programmes, the Working Lactating Mother Assistance Fund in Urban Areas will help make working mothers physically, mentally and economically self-reliant.”
After that, who will be the beneficiaries of the project, how much money they will get, these are given. But actually it is so small that it doesn’t have much effect. Day laborers, laborers are covered under this scheme. And very little money. I mean it has to be expanded. Big projects have to be undertaken. Maternity leave should be done for two years. How long can it be given with salary, if someone wants more leave, how long can it be extended, whether someone can sit at home and work in the office, whether it is possible to reduce the duty hours even if the leave is not increased, in that case, reduce the salary or do something appropriate. , everything needs a lot of discussion. In order to create a beautiful, clear and effective policy. Now the workplace is digitally advanced. After six months to a year, the mother can work from home, making such arrangements, or changing the type of work and giving some responsibility so that she can work from home, these can be many options. All you need is goodwill.
If you don’t do these things, maybe not everyone will leave the job, but the field of creating a mentally healthy and efficient workforce will definitely be lost. And those mothers who will be forced to leave their jobs will be dependent on others for the rest of their lives. And their skills, experience will be lost due to neglect.
