When someone behaves harshly towards another, it is not fair to place all the blame on the one showing harshness. Every person is born with a soft heart. Harshness doesn’t appear overnight, nor does it emerge at first sight or in equal measure for everyone. But why does a person become harsh? Even when they have the ability, there is often no situation or environment conducive to saying “no” and avoiding conflict.
Many people display harshness due to the influence of those around them, or because of their own experiences with love and betrayal. When someone has been hurt by someone they loved or been deceived, their trust, and the trust they have in others, is no longer the same. After repeatedly being hurt, when the heart can no longer bear it, it turns to harshness as a defense mechanism.
Breach of trust, broken promises, or disrespect—these repeated blows gradually harden the heart. But the main cause of a hardened heart is neglect.
When a person is neglected or overlooked by those they love, trust, and depend on, their heart slowly begins to drift away from that relationship. When someone’s heart is wounded by the blows of others, they are compelled to harden themselves to protect their feelings, avoid further hurt, and conceal their weaknesses.
Some may also adopt harshness to hide their vulnerabilities, cover up their wrongdoings, or assert their power.
The situation where a person distances themselves from someone they once cared for deeply, someone they would have risked everything for, doesn’t develop in a single day. Accusations of selfishness are rarely one-sided.
The more bitter the experience, the more intense the harshness. Once the heart hardens, it is not an easy task to soften it or regain trust—it takes persistent effort. Yet, nowadays, people are becoming more distant from one another’s hearts.
In an ideal world, people would remain simple, straightforward, and natural with each other. But our societal structures are flawed, built by previous generations for their own convenience. Here, if someone remains too simple, they are exploited; if someone refrains from showing emotion or stands up for principles, they are branded as stone-hearted.
However, for personal growth and mental well-being, simplicity is most important. People should speak with others in a way that brings them peace, act with integrity, and maintain trust in each other.
Simplicity has more grace than harshness. The kind of beauty that allows a person to become noble-hearted—may everyone be able to achieve this, is the wish.
In Canada, this kind of reflection could resonate deeply in multicultural and diverse contexts. It’s easy to see how neglect or harshness can stem from both personal challenges and systemic issues. Canadians often place a high value on kindness, empathy, and emotional awareness, but even in this culturally rich environment, personal difficulties can lead individuals to develop harshness as a coping mechanism. It’s important to foster environments where people can soften their hearts through understanding, support, and mutual respect. The beauty of simplicity and human connection remains a key ideal in Canadian society as well.
